What would you want to know?

It is early Sunday morning. I'm just having my second cup of coffee and catching up on a couple of blogs I am following. One is casual and upbeat in spite of life handing you some rough stuff. The other is almost painfully introspective....and somewhat mysterious. Maybe because I have only just begun to follow that blog in the past year I have missed some clues to why this person has so many 'scars' that haven't managed to heal.

I don't have a lot of patience with people who do not attempt - seriously attempt - to get past things of their childhood. There is a big difference between understanding that you react certain ways in a situation because of things from your childhood - and 'blaming' your reactions on things from your childhood. For instance one of my reactions to people being angry with me is to feel like no one loves me. I feel lost, devastated, alone, unworthy and that everything is my fault.

This does come from things that happened to me as a child. And it also comes from how I reacted as a child along with the dynamics of the rest of the household.

But you know what? I understand this! I have talked - alot - over the years with professionals and my family. I have gained an understanding of why. And I have gained an understanding of why some of those things happened the way they did - from the other person's perspective.

So now - I do not always react in that same way. And when I do, I can see what I am doing and sometimes it is even ok that I am doing that. But I don't take it as a fate - that I am always going to be that way and feel that way.

I feel that I do have control over things in my life. If you are a 'fate' person, you can blame everything and everyone else except yourself for the way things go and the way you feel. That way it is easy for you. You don't actually have to participate in your own life!

I found the introspective mysterious blog a bit depressing this morning and loved the upbeat blog. So I was wondering - if anyone started reading my blog - what would you want to know?